Before the First Date
First dates can be exciting, a little nerve-racking, and sometimes downright awkward. That's part of dating! Whether this is your very first date or you're getting back out there, a little preparation can go a long way.
Here's what to know before you head out.
01. Get Date-Ready
Looking good. Feeling good. Let's make a first impression.
You've got a date on the calendar. How exciting is that?! Now comes the fun part: getting ready.
A great first date doesn't require a perfect outfit, fancy plans, or knowing exactly what to say. It's about showing up feeling comfortable, confident, and ready to get to know someone new.
Dress for the Occasion
Dinner reservations? Coffee date? Something a little more adventurous?
Think about where you're going and choose an outfit that fits the occasion. A nice restaurant might call for something dressier, while a casual afternoon date could be perfect for your favorite jeans and a great shirt. Whatever you choose, make sure it's clean, comfortable, and feels like you. There's no need to dress like someone else to make a good impression.
A Little Freshening Up Goes a Long Way
Before heading out, take a few minutes to get yourself date-ready.
Take a shower and put on clean clothes.
Brush your teeth and freshen your breath.
Comb or style your hair.
Apply deodorant.
If you enjoy wearing perfume or cologne, a little goes a long way!
Taking care of yourself isn't about being perfect. It's about feeling good and showing consideration for the person you're meeting.
Have a Plan Before You Go
A little planning makes the whole experience easier. Make sure you know where you're meeting, what time your date starts, and how you're getting there and back home. If you need help arranging transportation, ask someone you trust ahead of time.
It's also a good idea to check the restaurant or activity's prices, bring enough money for your plans, and talk about who's paying before the date. And don't forget to charge your phone! One Last Thing... First-date nerves? Completely normal.
You don't need to impress someone by pretending to be somebody you're not. Wear something you love, show up on time, and remember that the person you're meeting might be just as nervous as you are.
The best thing you can bring to a first date is yourself.
02. Let's Talk About It
Good conversation. A little flirting. And maybe a few butterflies.
So, you're sitting across from someone new. Now what?
Getting to know someone is one of the best parts of dating! You get to discover what makes them laugh, what they love, and whether the two of you have something in common. And don't worry, you don't need to have all the right words. A great conversation isn't about saying something impressive. It's about being interested in the person sitting across from you.
Break the Ice
Not sure what to talk about? Start simple!
Ask questions that help you learn more about your date. Here are a few to get things going:
What's your favorite thing to do on the weekends?
Do you have a favorite restaurant?
What kind of music do you listen to?
What's the best movie you've ever seen?
Do you like to travel?
What's something that always makes you laugh?
Remember, a conversation goes both ways! Give your date time to answer, listen to what they say, and share a little about yourself, too.
Is That Flirting?
Maybe you catch yourself smiling a little more than usual. Maybe your date makes you laugh, or you find yourself hoping the night doesn't end just yet.
That might be a little chemistry! Flirting can be as simple as smiling, giving a genuine compliment, or telling someone you're enjoying their company.
Try saying:
"You look really nice tonight!"
"I'm having a really good time with you."
"You have a great smile."
"I'd love to do this again sometime."
Just remember that flirting should feel comfortable for both people. A smile or a friendly conversation doesn't always mean someone is romantically interested, and that's okay!
What If It Gets Awkward?
Here's a little secret: Almost everyone has experienced an awkward first date.
Maybe there's a long silence. Maybe you accidentally say something silly. Maybe you can't think of another question. It's really not a big deal. Take a sip of your drink, smile, and give yourself a moment. You can always ask another question or talk about something happening around you. And if you realize you don't have much in common? That's okay, too!
Not every date turns into a relationship. Sometimes you make a new friend. Sometimes you simply learn more about what you're looking for. Be Interested, Not Just Interesting. One of the nicest things you can do on a date is to make the other person feel heard. Put your phone away, let them finish speaking, and ask questions about the things they share. You don't have to agree on everything, have the same hobbies, or fill every quiet moment.
Dating isn't about convincing someone to like you. It's about discovering whether you like each other.
And that's what makes getting to know someone so much fun!
03. Safety Is Attractive
Good dates are fun. Great dates also feel safe, comfortable, and respectful.
Dating is about meeting new people, making connections, and enjoying new experiences. But whether it's your first date or your fiftieth, feeling safe should always be part of the plan. Knowing your boundaries, making your own choices, and understanding when something doesn't feel right are all important parts of dating. And remember, you never have to do something just because you're on a date.
Meet Somewhere Public
For a first date, choose a public place where other people will be around. A restaurant, coffee shop, bowling alley, or another popular date spot is a great place to start. Before heading out:
Tell someone you trust where you're going and who you're meeting.
Make sure you have a way to get home.
Keep your phone charged and accessible.
Bring your own money or payment method when possible.
Have a plan for leaving early if you need to.
It's perfectly okay to ask someone you trust for help planning your date. Having support doesn't mean giving up your independence.
Your Boundaries Matter
Holding hands? Hugging? Kissing?
Those are personal choices, and both people should feel comfortable before anything happens. Consent means freely choosing to say yes. It isn't something you owe another person because they bought dinner, gave you a compliment, or asked you on a date.
You can say:
"I'm not ready for that."
"I'd rather take things slowly."
"Please don't touch me."
"I'm comfortable with a hug, but not a kiss."
"No, thank you."
You can also change your mind, even if you said yes earlier. The same rules apply to your date. If someone says no, seems uncomfortable, or asks you to stop, respect their decision. No means no. For both people. Every time.
Know the Difference Between a Green Flag and a Red Flag
🟢 Green flags are signs that someone treats you well.
A good date:
Listens when you speak.
Respects your choices and boundaries.
Makes you feel comfortable being yourself.
Is kind to you and the people around you.
Accepts no without arguing or pressuring you.
🚩Red flags are signs that something might not be right.
Pay attention if someone:
Pressures you to kiss, touch, or do something you don't want to do.
Gets angry when you say no.
Asks you to keep uncomfortable or unsafe things secret.
Tries to control where you go or who you talk to.
Asks for money, passwords, or private photos.
Makes you feel scared, embarrassed, or unsafe.
If something feels wrong, you don't have to ignore that feeling just to be polite.
It's Okay to Leave
Sometimes a date just isn't going well. Other times, someone may make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe. Either way, you are allowed to end a date early.
You can say, "I'm ready to go home," or "I don't feel comfortable continuing this date." You don't owe anyone a second date, a kiss goodbye, or an explanation for saying no. If you need help, reach out to someone you trust, speak to an employee at the location, or call for emergency assistance if you're in immediate danger.
One Last Reminder...
Dating should be something you want to do, not something you feel pressured to do.
You deserve someone who respects your choices, listens to your feelings, and makes you feel good about being yourself.
And the person sitting across from you deserves those same things.
The right connection will never require you to give up your boundaries to keep someone's interest.